Personal safety education for children

The concept of Personal Safety Education works to allow every child the right to feel safe all the time, using a methodology that promotes the safety of self against abuse. The program is an extension of the safety rules we teach our children, that is, don't play with fire, look both sides before and while crossing the road etc. Besides empowering children to take part in their own protection, it strengthens the ability of those morally, socially and professionally responsible for the protection of children, that is, the State, parents, educators, and the larger community.

What is Personal safety?

• Personal Safety empowers children to take part in their own protection by giving them age-appropriate information, skills, and self-esteem.
• Personal Safety teaches children that their body belongs only to them and nobody has the right to touch them in a way they don't like or understand.
• Personal Safety teaches children to understand their emotions to help keep them safe, using fear and anger in positive ways.
• Personal Safety teaches assertiveness skills, helping children to stand up for their own rights without violating the rights of others.
• Personal Safety builds the support system of each child, including the family, school, community, and friends.
• Personal Safety builds the self-esteem of each child to empower them to practice assertiveness skills for their own protection.
• Personal Safety builds empathy for one another.
• Personal Safety teaches children that only the offender is to blame for any inappropriate sexual touch. It's important to understand sexual abuse need not always involve touching the child. It includes other non-contact acts as well.

Personal safety rules for children

1. It is NOT OK to touch someone else's private body parts
2. It is NOT OK for someone to touch his or her own private body parts in front of you.
3. It is NOT OK for someone to ask you to touch his or her private body parts.
4. It is NOT OK for someone to take photos or videos of you with your clothes off.
5. It is NOT OK for someone to show you photos or videos of people without their clothes on.
6. If this happens or if you feel confused, uncomfortable or unsafe about any touch say 'NO' and get away. Remember, IT'S NEVER YOUR FAULT.
7. Never keep a secret about a touching problem. Tell a trusted adult and keep telling till you get the help you need.

Kinds of Touches that children need to be aware

Children need to be aware that there are three kinds of touches.

1. SAFE TOUCH are those touches that are experienced by the receiver (child) as warm, caring, nurturing, and supportive. They do not diminish the receiver and do not take from the receiver. All persons need to receive this kind of touch.
2. UNSAFE TOUCH are those that hurt the receiver, that make the receiver feel bad, that inflict pain or that seem to disregard the receivers (child's) feelings. It is usually very clear that the child does not want this kind of touch, which is experienced by the child as manipulative, coercive, abusive, and frightening.
3. CONFUSING TOUCH are those which make the receiver feel uncomfortable, uneasy, confused, or unsure. The receiver experiences confusion and conflicting feelings about the touch and/or about the person who does the touching. The intent of the adult may be unclear, the touch may be unfamiliar. There are times when this kind of attention "feels good" but is also frightening, such as a touch that is sexually stimulating, being asked keep the experience a secret or being given undue intimate attention in front of others. Thus, the attention or touch that "feels good" is not always good or safe.

What determines the nature of the touch?

Whether the touch or attention is "safe" or "unsafe" or "confusing" is determined by how the receiver experiences it, NOT by the intentions of the person giving the attention of doing the touching. The adult may intend the touch/attention to convey a certain kind of message (support, affection, etc.) but the message is entirely dependent upon how the receiver perceives the touch/attention, and the adults have no control over this. The adult's intentions are irrelevant.

Source : Tulir - Centre for the Prevention and Healing of Child Sexual Abuse (CPHCSA)

Related Resources

1. Posters on prevention of Child Abuse
2. FAQs on Child Sexual Abuse